Da Ugly Devil's Heaven » forward messages

FWD Messages – A Letter To A Dad From A Son

Amrit Dangol — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:38:00 +0000

Well It’s been A long time since I published interesting FWD messages here in my blog. So here it goes. I just got an email from my cousin and this one is just something you gotta read and enjoy.

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’ s not only the passion….Dad she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home.

FWD Messages – Women

Amrit Dangol — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:13:00 +0000

Though this is not picture blog, I have to write this post. This is one of the forward message that I got from one of my friends. Strange thing is a girl send this to me. This might offend some of the ladies or girls around but please don’t take this personally. This is just a forward message and the main purpose of this message is for a good humor. Just enjoy it and if you like it you can post your comments below.

WOMEN AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor but its not true.

FWD Messages – Before & After Marriage

Amrit Dangol — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:08:00 +0000

I was just surfing through and suddenly I got this forward message and it is so hilarious. I hadn’t published my funny forward message in my blog for some months so I thought this would definitely make my regular readers laugh out loud. When I read this email, I thought it must be something like the email would probably be like cursing people if they didn’t send it to some 5-10-20-50 people, but I was wrong. This is my joke of the day for today. I hope you guys enjoy it too.

Read from the Top…

Before Marriage…

Girl: Darling !

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: NO! Don”t even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course! Over and over!

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get!

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Are you crazy! I”m not that kind of person!

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After marriage…

Read from Bottom…

Computer Should Be Masculine â€œEl Computadorâ€

Amrit Dangol — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 18:57:00 +0000

This is one another humorous forward email that I got. I just wonder how do people get these ideas into their heads and bring up such full of humorous jokes. I just couldnâ€™t help to post it here and share it to all my friends and readers. Recently most of my friends are just too much loving these forward messages, so I have decided to post it here whenever I get a good one that would just make anyoneâ€™s day by giving them a smile when they visit my blog. If anyone has some, please do not hesitate to share it with me and I will help you share it to the world by posting it here.

So here it goes:

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

“House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.”
“Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”

A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?”
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computadora”) because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (”el computador”) because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.
3.

They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, the ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

The Secret Behind The Number 11 – Pretty Chilling

Amrit Dangol — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:14:00 +0000

I just received this forward message in my Hi5 inbox. Going through it, I just got so deep into it and I find it amazing, interesting, and somewhat freaky as well. The person who found out about this must have done a whole lot of work and research. This is the most interesting forward message I ever had. I couldn’t help myself publish it here in my blog to share it with all of my readers. Enjoy!!!

Read to the bottom. Try it out. I did and I got goose bumps. If you are a skeptical person – still read on as it’s actually very interesting!!

This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it first)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:

“For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace.”

That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this Still ?!

Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on
end:

Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane
to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS 1
What do you think now?

Are You An Engineer? Please Think On Itâ€¦

Amrit Dangol — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 21:28:00 +0000

Lots of my friends have become successful in achieving their aim and dreams. Amongst them few are Doctors and a lot of them are Engineers. One of my friends, Er. Dikesh Shrestha, had send me one forward message today. I know that life of an engineer is really tough with all those hard work since childhood and after you are an engineer too you have lots of tensions regarding your work, and you never get free time for anything except for holidays. I also have seen lot of them getting frustrated after completing their studies and not getting the jobs according to their qualifications. May be Dikesh send this email to all his friends (mostly fellow Engineers) to cheer them up. Now it is my turn, instead of forwarding it to few of my friends in my email list, I thought of posting it in my blog where I can reach out to the millions of readers. I hope this cheers up all the Engineers out there. Enjoy!

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself
treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic,
see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal
specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only…

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk
like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man:

I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you an engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me
in the begining itself that you are are an engineer. Come man, no one
can treat you better than me.

(Pass this links to all the engineers. Let them know their real life.)